It’s a Kid Thing… Not!
A few more words about the young person who bullies:
Who are the bullies?
First off, the bully can be a guy or a girl.
Girls tend to bully girls while guys bully both.
Girls tend to stay away from violence but not guys.
Girls spread rumours, get jealous and find faults.
Girls can be sneaky, take away friends and get overly critical.
Guys can get ugly and mean.
Guys are into threats, extortion, exclusion.
They will sometimes bully because a girl tells them to!
Bullies force themselves into someone else’s space.
Humiliate and Dominate. Definitely not cool.
You’re a Target ?
Then tell someone. Tell someone you trust.
It’s harder to pick on you if you are with others who can lend you a hand. Tell an adult.
If the adult doesn’t take it seriously then go to another adult.
Try not to show the bully that he or she is getting to you.
They want a reaction! That’s what it is all about.
Avoid being in places where you might find yourself alone.
Change your route. Use humour. Stay calm.
Avoid places where the bullies might lurk!
Don’t fight back. Better to give them what they want than getting hurt. Remember details about their appearance and
remember that no one deserves to be hurt, it’s not your fault.
Something to keep in mind if you are being bullied:
- Stay away from secluded places where you know the bully or the gang might hang out.
- Don’t put yourself on the level of the bully by retaliating or fighting back. You will generally end up losing.
- Remember that bullies pick on victims that show some vulnerability or weakness. Therefore, try to work on self-confidence, be self-assured and remember to smile.
- Select your friends wisely; the people you hang out with make all the difference so as a victim do not succumb to thinking that it is the world that is against you. Far from it, you still have lots of people to hang out with so don’t let the stress get any worse by isolating yourself. This makes the situation worse.
- As a victim it is not uncommon to have mood swings, cry for no reason, develop sleeping/eating disorders and get angry with the people you feel closest to. You might be irritable with you friends and folks and not want to go to school. This does not mean that you are crazy, rather it means that you are hurting on the inside. It means that you need to talk to someone who you know will listen and hear. Remember, that you do have some control to do something about it!
What can be done?
- Report it. (Tell a teacher, principal, adult friend.)
- Follow up on the report. (Make sure that things are explored and that there is ‘follow through’.)
- Don’t give up. (The bullying against you might stop, but the bullying behavior against others might continue. Try not to let it happen for the sake of the school.)
- Speak out..(when you feel the time is right.)
- Talk about policies and protocols and urge people to establish them, post them on walls and, more importantly, live them!
- Arrange with adults to have a seminar or assembly.
Action Against bullying !
Youth should be able to work in teams at elementary schools as monitors and youth leaders teaching those younger about the consequences of bullying.
Administrators , teachers and youth should read, understand and promote the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child. This is an important document that speaks loudly about the rights of young people to feel safe and to be educated in a setting free from intimidation and fear. The UN Charter also speaks clearly about the importance of the youth voice in situations that effect them.
It is important not to blame. Teachers for example are not to blame for they are busy people and already have a lot of work to do. It is important that you try to convince people that bullying can be addressed by everyone sharing in the responsibility.
Most youth know that bullying is not going to be stopped by a lecture from the principal or a police officer. Rather it will be stopped when everyone has a part to play in establishing a healthy and warm school atmosphere, when youth are seen as part of the solution and not the major problem.
The worst thing to do is to simply whine and complain. Nothing worse than the adult who whines , blames and walks away having done nothing.
” You’ve got to stay stronger on the inside than the bully is on the outside.”
Bullying: Feeling Good by Making Others Feel Bad...
No one deserves to be hurt by another person.
Bullying is wrong. There are no exceptions to this statement.
No one has the right to hurt another…
be it physically, emotionally, or by spreading rumours.
Bullies like to call the shots and be in control.
Some are bullied at home. The grown-ups say:
“fight back…show them who’s boss, you’ll get over it…” No!
Bullies get off on status, aggression and power.
Some kids make it worse by ‘sucking up’ to the bully.
Kids who allow bullying to happen are part of the problem!